This postcard from PostSecret reminded me of how I white-knuckled my way down to 150 pounds.
My diet makes me obsess about food to the point where I google image search my cravings in an attempt to stave them off…
Just a note to this person and anyone else in this situation: IT DOESN’T WORK. I have done many crazy things to keep myself from eating food, which just fed my obsession.
- Looking at food on the Internet.
- Smelling food, but not eating it.
- Getting scratch and sniff stickers and smelling them instead of eating.
- Eating too much healthy food instead.
- Planning how I would binge as soon as I got thin enough.
- Trying to distract myself with something else.
Once I realized that I had no control over food, I saw how silly all these activities were and how they actually made my food obsession worse. I also felt a huge wave of grief and self-pity because I felt completely and utterly doomed. I was fully aware that there was nothing I could do to control the biological urge to overeat. My hunger response was so broken and I felt as if I could never get past this.
And then I found this awesome other part of my brain. It had been there all along, but I never had been able to access it before. Now, I let it control all my eating and it does a better job than I have ever been able to do on my own.
If you are feeling hopeless over your eating behaviors, there is a way out. Get yourself into an OA meeting. Get a sponsor, do what your sponsor tells you to do, and learn to access that powerful part of your brain that can handle your hunger more than you could ever do it.