11/20/2014

Gentleness and Time

By Laura Moncur @ 9:47 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and it shocked me at how BAD I am at this:

When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time. Saint Francis de Sales from The Quotations Page

It reads:

When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.

  • Saint Francis de Sales

Whenever things have gotten harder in my weight loss journey, I have attacked things with stricter eating and more intense exercise. That has always led to a binge for me. I have never just tried to be gentle with myself and give myself time. I’ve done the polar opposite and gotten horrible results.

If you run into problems, try this radical idea. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing. You are at a plateau? Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t increase your workouts. Don’t change up your food. Just keep eating the calories you’re supposed to eat to lose weight safely. Just keep doing moderate workouts.

Give yourself gentleness and time.

11/17/2014

Everybody Here Is A Friend of Mine

By Laura Moncur @ 9:51 am — Filed under:

Usually when I have a migraine, I hide in a dark room, hoping to sleep it off, but last month, we were traveling to see family and I couldn’t hide. I took my two naproxen sodium pills and the pain lulled to a dull thud. Mike was going to drive and we stopped to get gas in town before leaving.

That’s when it happened… (more…)

11/16/2014

Contraints of the Space-Time Continuum

By Laura Moncur @ 12:45 pm — Filed under:

Just yesterday, I was talking about how I need to live in The Here and Now. Then this gorgeous quote from Hank Green shows up in my feed.

Constraints of the Space-Time Continuum

It reads:

I live in the present due to the constraints of the Space-Time Continuum.

It’s true. We MUST live in the present. We can’t do anything else. We can’t change the past. We can’t foresee the future. Any time spent trying to do either is WASTED time.

Every time I think about eating this way for the rest of my life, the REASON I feel panicky and unable to complete the task is because of the sheer complexity of fathoming the rest of my life. I’m not panicked about eating this way for the rest of my life. I’m just panicked about the rest of my life.

As long as I focus on TODAY, THIS MINUTE, I can do it. I am like the proverbial Verizon Guy. Can I eat healthy now? YES! Can I eat healthy NOW? YES! Can I eat healthy next year? We do NOT know! You have to wait until the Verizon Guy WALKS there, step by step, to get there. THEN, you can ask me. Can I eat healthy now? YES!

Image via: The Benevolent Slice

11/15/2014

The Here and Now

By Laura Moncur @ 2:11 pm — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and it helped me be happier with living in the now.

The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it's all we'll need. Ann Richards from The Quotations Page

It reads:

The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it’s all we’ll need.

  • Ann Richards

I have a hard time living in the now. I am always thinking about the future or ruminating about the past. Something about the Overeater’s Anonymous program helps us put that aside and live in the now. The idea of living just ONE day at a time sounds simplistic to me, but it has helped me.

The thought of writing down every single bit of food I eat every day for the rest of my life sounds INCREDIBLY restrictive to me. I cannot even think of doing it. Can I write down every single bit of food I eat today? Oh, yeah. That’s totally easy. I can do that.

And I have been doing that for over eleven months now.

Somehow, just focusing on ONE day at a time is easy. Can I eat healthy today? Yes. Can I eat healthy for the rest of my life? I’m not even going to think about that. All I’m going to think about is The Here and Now. I’ll make that awesome and forget about everything else.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

11/14/2014

Fail Thrice

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote and it made me feel better about my weight loss failures.

Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice. Minna Thomas Antrim from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice.

  • Minna Thomas Antrim

I’ve been really beating myself up lately about the fact that it took me TEN years to get my butt to Overeater’s Anonymous. I heard about it, dismissed it and then suffered for ten more years. During that time, I failed at Weight Watchers two more times.

So I have failed thrice, which means, if Minna Thomas Antrim is to be believed, that I have uncommon strength.

I have to admit that it DID take strength to pick myself up again and try again, especially when I felt so defeated and lost. Back in October of last year, I lost ALL hope. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was powerless over food. I was going to be hungry ALL the time for the rest of my life. My only hope was to white-knuckle it between my feedings. I talked about it here:

Back then, I said:

After months of not being able to follow my plan for more than an hour each morning, I finally have a tiny modicum of success. It appears that refeeding works for anorexics and binge eaters alike.

It is over a year later, and I STILL have those alarms that go off every two and a half hours. Without questioning it, I eat when they go off and DON’T eat between times. I can ALWAYS wait a couple of hours to eat when I feel hungry. After so much failure, finding something that works is a precious jewel that I have clung to it in near desperation.

I am so grateful I was able to pick myself up and try again, even though I had failed thrice.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

11/13/2014

Nothing Is Easy to the Unwilling

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I found a quote yesterday that explained the last decade of suffering to me quite nicely.

Nothing is easy to the unwilling. Nikki Giovanni from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Nothing is easy to the unwilling.

  • Nikki Giovanni

I thought I was willing. I wrote down EVERY bite of food that went into my mouth, all 7000 calories each day. I went to Weight Watchers EVERY week, vowing to follow the program this time. Even during earlier times, I faithfully ate everything they told me, right down to the whole grain wheat that ripped and tore at my intestines until they bled. I thought I was willing, but I wasn’t.

I wasn’t willing to do what I needed to do.

I needed to be humble. I needed to believe that I didn’t know everything. I needed to just walk my fat butt into the doors of Overeaters Anonymous, even though I “knew” that the god stuff wouldn’t work for me.

Last January, I became willing. So entirely willing that I pretty much did whatever my sponsor told me to do within hours of her telling me. I went through the steps so quickly that it was surprising, but that’s because I didn’t piddle around. I didn’t waste any time. I was so damn willing that I DID it.

If you are unwilling, you are like that huge rock in the picture. There won’t be anything that can move you. You might think that you are doing what you need to do to get healthy, but just like all my “willingness” in Weight Watchers, it won’t help you a bit. You need to do what WORKS. And for me, Overeaters Anonymous worked.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

11/12/2014

Somebody There, Standing in the Gap

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote yesterday and it told me EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us. Oprah Winfrey from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.

  • Oprah Winfrey

Weight loss and conquering overeating is impossible to do alone. I keep letting my independent nature get in the way and I tell myself that I can do this alone. I don’t need to call other people. I don’t need to go to meetings. I can do this alone.

Wrong…

Or sometimes, I tell myself that the only reason I use the telephone or go to meetings is for everyone else. THEY need a call, or our meetings need me so they don’t seem so small.

Wrong again…

This is a disease of isolation. It wants you to be alone. It wants you to hide it. It wants you to try to deny there is a problem. That’s when it can grow so well. Don’t let it do it to you and I am posting this quote on my mirror so that I don’t let it do it to me either.

11/11/2014

Mistakes Show Us What Needs Improving

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I love this quote from Peter McWilliams:

Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on? Peter McWilliams from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on?

  • Peter McWilliams

Life 101 by Peter McWilliams at Amazon.comThat quote is from a book called, Life 101. It was a life-changing book for me and definitely worth the read. You can read it online here: Life 101 by Peter McWilliams – Read Online.

The next time you go over your calories for the day or skip a workout, remember this quote. It’s an indication of what you need to work on. That mistake is a bright red reminder of where you are weak and how you can get better. It’s not a reason to punish yourself or give up. It’s just feedback.

11/10/2014

There Is Help for Relapse

By Laura Moncur @ 10:11 am — Filed under:

This postcard from PostSecret made me so sad for the person who sent it in.

Relapse from Starling Fitness

It reads:

I can’t bear to tell my family I relapsed so instead I quietly suffer… alone.

I wouldn’t have thought this was about an eating disorder until I saw the “food+body wisdom” circle pasted in the middle. After a little research, I found that it is for Opal, which is a clinic in Seattle, Washington for those with disordered eating.

The person who wrote the postcard is not only aching from the relapse and all the pain in which that encompasses, but from the exorbitant cost her family paid to put her through Opal in the first place. They might accept your health insurance, but they are VERY clear that they are a paid facility with the comment, “Prior to receiving services, every effort will be made to verify insurance eligibility and benefits and educate clients about possible financial obligations. We accept check and credit card for any out of pocket financial obligations.

There is a way to get help without admitting yourself to a facility that is going to bankrupt your family. Get yourself to Overeaters Anonymous. Find a meeting here:

You might not be able to be honest with your family, but you are sure to feel more at home with a room full of people who have the same problem as you do. Binge Eaters, Bulimics, and Anorexics are all welcome there. Your only requirement is that you want to stop being sick about food. You don’t have to burden your family with “financial obligations.” You can get help with us.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.


PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.

11/7/2014

You Must Learn from the Mistakes of Others

By Laura Moncur @ 11:13 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and I agreed with it wholeheartedly:

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Sam Levenson from The Quotations Page

It reads:

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

  • Sam Levenson

If you are thinking that Overeater’s Anonymous can’t possibly work for you, DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!! I suffered for nearly ten years before I was so sick and discouraged that I tried it in desperation.

Whatever your reason for not giving yourself wholly to OA, drop it now. It’s just an excuse to give your disease more time to ruin your life. If you tried OA and decided it’s not for you, but you are still suffering, then that is also just an excuse to give your disease more time to ruin your life.

Honestly, there are lots of things about the program to scare people away. The introspection and the demands of rigorous honesty are HARD, but they are a hard that’s worth it. Instead of feeding your disease, take those most important steps to get yourself healthy again. Walk yourself right into an OA meeting, find a sponsor, do the step work and keep coming back.

You can’t possible live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself. Learn from mine.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

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