7/1/2015

Find Somebody To Be Successful For

By Laura Moncur @ 8:31 am — Filed under:

I absolutely ADORE this quote from President Obama!

Find somebody to be successful for. Raise their hopes. Think of their needs. Barack Obama from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Find somebody to be successful for. Raise their hopes. Think of their needs.

  • Barack Obama

Thinking of other people instead of myself has been one of the most helpful things I’ve learned this last year. So many times when I am feeling bad, it’s because I am only thinking about myself. The minute I try to focus my goals on making other people happy, all that worry, fear and desire for control go out the window. Taking the focus off myself and my crazy head and putting it outside myself somehow makes the crazy go away.

And when the crazy goes away, I don’t feel the need to binge. I can eat healthy food and feel satisfied. I can exercise reasonably without injuring myself.

So go find somebody to be successful for.

6/30/2015

When You’re A Team of One, You’re Always Captain

By Laura Moncur @ 10:21 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote and nodded in sadness.

When you're a team of one you're always captain. by Takayuki Ikkaku Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata from The Quotations Page

It reads:

When you’re a team of one, you’re always captain.

  • Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

That is true. It is so much easier to be a team of one. No one to argue with. No one to pull you down. If you want something done, you just DO it and it’s done. There’s no waiting FOREVER for that lazy other team member to get their part done so you can do your stuff.

This is why I suffered with my binge eating for so long. I was so dependent on the idea that a team of one is better that I wasn’t able to find recovery.

What I really needed was an actual TEAM. A group of people who knew EXACTLY what I was going through and were there to say, “You can do this. It’s possible. Here’s how.” I NEEDED the people in Overeater’s Anonymous to help me. I didn’t need Weight Watchers. The people and the teachers there were loving and kind, but they didn’t understand the addiction and didn’t have any answers.

Now, I have a full team to help me in my recovery and I am NOT the captain. That’s the best part. I am not in charge and all I have to do is follow the rules and continue to work hard and I am free of the compulsion to overeat. It’s wonderful, even for a control freak like me!


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

6/27/2015

You Are Loved Beyond Measure

By Laura Moncur @ 12:25 pm — Filed under:

When I first saw this motivational poster from Positive Life Tips, I was bugged by it.

You Are Loved Beyond Measure from Starling Fitness

It reads:

You are loved beyond measure, and nothing you can ever do can separate you from that love.

I thought the quote was talking about God or maybe my family and friends. It made me want to make a farting noise with my tongue and wave it away rudely.

And then I remembered this quote from this entry I wrote:

* Starling Fitness – All They Care About Is You

All They Care About Is You from Starling Fitness

It reads:

“Whenever you feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in your body and all they care about is you.”

We ARE loved beyond measure. Each and every cell in our body desperately and violently wants us to live, wants us to thrive, and wants us to be happy. Their existence depends ENTIRELY upon us and they love us beyond measure.

Some people mistake that love that they feel as coming from a god or supreme being, but in actuality, that love that is surrounding us when we feel like that is coming from within. We are literally being bathed in love from billions of cells. Give yourself some time every single day to tap into that love and listen to it.

6/26/2015

Perception and Reflection

By Laura Moncur @ 9:42 am — Filed under:

I saw this motivational poster on Positive Life Tips and I know it is true.

Your Perception of Me Is A Reflection of You from Starling Fitness

It reads:

Your perception of me is a reflection of you.

That’s all well and good, and it might actually help me feel better if someone doesn’t like me. The MOST important thing I have learned, however, is the polar opposite.

My perception of you is a reflection of me. from Starling Fitness

My perception of you is a reflection of me.

THAT is a helpful thing to know. I’ve talked about this concept before here:

Back then, I described this concept as The Mirror. Everyone is a mirror to your own virtues and vices. I used my sponsor’s favorite saying about this:

If you spot it, you've got it. If it makes you mad, you've got it bad. from Starling Fitness

If you spot it, you’ve got it.

If it makes you mad, you got it bad.

That is so true and when I KNOW the problem I’m having, then I can work to solve it. I can’t solve other people’s attitudes or behaviors, but I sure as heck can work on my own. And EVERY time I learn to wrangle a character defect, eating healthy and abstaining from bingeing gets easier. THAT’S why it’s called an inner workout.

6/23/2015

Character Defects List

By Laura Moncur @ 9:24 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and it kind of bugged me.

My friends love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And well change the world. Jack Layton from The Quotations Page

It reads:

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

  • Jack Layton

My problem with this is when I’m angry, love doesn’t really make it go away. When I’m fearful, hope doesn’t help me. When I’m depressed and despairing, optimism doesn’t help. This quote is a great idea and I WANT to be loving, hopeful and optimistic all the time, I just didn’t know how to do it.

Until I worked through my steps in Overeater’s Anonymous. Very early in our work together, my sponsor gave me this Character Defects List. Click on the picture to download the full-sized image.

Character Defects List from Overeaters Anonymous

Every time I would mention something I was angry about, my sponsor would ask me, “What’s the opposite of anger?” She’d wait while I pulled out my list and replied, “Forgiveness, calm and generosity.” Whenever I would talk about something I was afraid of, she would ask me, “What’s the opposite of fear?” I’d check my list and answer, “Faith, confidence and courage.”

Now, I can spot my character defects coming from a mile away and they are FAR more numerous than fear, anger and depression. When I do, I can do a meditation on the opposite of my current problem and I always feel much better. Jack Layton almost had it right. I just needed a little more instruction on how to be loving, optimistic and hopeful.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

6/22/2015

Little Victories

By Laura Moncur @ 10:24 am — Filed under:

I saw this quotations today and I wanted to scream, “Yes!”

Ive grown to realize the joy that comes from little victories is preferable to the fun that comes from ease and the pursuit of pleasure. Lawana Blackwell from The Quotations Page

It reads:

I’ve grown to realize the joy that comes from little victories is preferable to the fun that comes from ease and the pursuit of pleasure.

  • Lawana Blackwell

Little victories! They are SO much powerful than I ever realized. The power of a to-do list is astonishing to me. If I add a goal to my to-do list, I have SUCH a good feeling when I check it off! Even the fun things I do every day, like reading a book for 30 minutes feels better when I get to check it off my list.

I can’t stress how important how LITTLE the victories should be. For example, I have a goal to write or work on my fiction book for FIVE MINUTES every day. Just five minutes. You would think that I would get NOTHING done if I only worked on it five minutes a day, but after only seven months, I’m almost done with my first draft. I didn’t have that HUGE delay when I usually do (about the time I have to be mean to my characters), because I put my face in front of the computer and wrote for five minutes a day. Sometimes I was counting down the minutes and only wrote two or three sentences, but most days, I did more. That TINY victory every day has yielded me HUGE results.

You want to eat healthy and exercise? I suggest that you start keeping a to-do list. Every day, you write the same goals, but make them TINY. Make them positive. Instead of writing, “Don’t eat junk food or sugar,” write “Eat five fruits and vegetables each day.” The second goal is far easier to achieve because you’re ADDING food to your diet instead of removing it. It’s positive and it will have the same effect.

Give yourself tons of little victories every day and your mood will elevate, you will achieve more and you will know success instead of failure.

6/20/2015

I Am Not An Eagle

By Laura Moncur @ 11:20 am — Filed under:

I was thinking about this saying today it it kind of made me realize how unhelpful it is.

I Am Not An Eagle from Starling Fitness

It reads:

It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

The idea is that if I want to be thin, I need to hang out with people who are thin. I need to join running clubs and befriend slim women at the gym to be my workout buddies. I need to hang out with my thin friends who always order salad at the group lunches.

I did just that. I was always on the lookout for someone to workout with. I joined a running club and chugged behind them alone or was the charity case that someone would hang back with. I sincerely asked my thin friends how they ate or simply ordered what they did at lunch, whether I liked it or not.

Here’s the shocker: IT NEVER WORKED.

I hung out with the eagles and guess what I learned. They are DIFFERENT than I am. Doing their workouts was easier for them than it was for me. When I asked them what to eat, they said to eat less by ordering salad. They had ZERO advice on what to do to stop overexercising and injuring myself. They had ZERO advice on how to stop eating once I started. They not only were useless, they did not understand. They could not comprehend the idea that I could not stop eating. Just stop doing that was the only advice they could give me.

It wasn’t until I came into Overeater’s Anonymous that I realized I had been going about this the wrong way. Step One of the program was essentially admitting to myself this one sad, but true fact.

I AM NOT AN EAGLE.

I might have been an eagle at one time, but my body and brain chemistry have been so altered by the bingeing and over-exercise that I am no longer an eagle. In fact, considering how young I was when all of this started, I may have never been an eagle. I was probably born a turkey. Here’s another truth:

Turkeys don’t learn how to fly from eagles. They learn from other turkeys.

Turkey bodies and eagle bodies are so different. Turkeys learn to fly from watching other turkeys fly. They do NOT learn how to fly from eagles. It just doesn’t happen. They’re both birds, just like all of us are human, but turkeys and eagles are so different that they can hardly learn from each other. If you’re a binge eater and you need to learn how to stop eating compulsively, you are NOT going to learn from those naturally slim people. The ONLY way to learn how to not eat compulsively is from other turkeys, recovering compulsive eaters.

I am not an eagle. I will never be an eagle, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fly.

Wild Turkeys Fly from Starling Fitness


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.


Eagle Quote image via: The Nutrition Ninja – What it takes to be a CHAMPION Wild Turkeys Fly via: Wild turkeys fly! capecodtimes – YouTube Animated GIF made using: Make A Gif

6/18/2015

Life Doesn’t Have To Be Perfect To Be Wonderful

By Laura Moncur @ 11:27 am — Filed under:

I saw this motivational poster on Discipline of Motivation and I put it on my phone wallpaper so I could see it every day.

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful from Starling Fitness

It reads:

Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

It is actually a quote from Annette Funicello.

Here are a few more images of the quote that I thought were pretty:

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful from Starling Fitness

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful from Starling Fitness

I always thought my striving for perfection was the reason I was successful. It took me a LONG time to realize that I was successful DESPITE my desire for perfection. Perfection got in the way of everything. If I made one little mistake, perfection was the excuse that let me binge. If it seemed to hard, perfection made me procrastinate until I could do nothing. Getting rid of perfectionism is difficult and I find it popping up in my life almost every single day.

So knowing that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful is a blessing.

6/16/2015

We Become The Victims of Our Feelings

By Laura Moncur @ 8:16 am — Filed under:

I remember reading The Mysteries of Uldolpho. I remember underlining quotes and adding them to The Quotations Page. Unfortunately, I never USED this quote the way I should have.

We become the victims of our feelings unless we can in some degree command them. Ann Radcliffe from The Quotations Page

The FULL quote reads:

And since, in our passage through this world, painful circumstances occur more frequently than pleasing ones, and since our sense of evil is, I fear, more acute than our sense of good, we become the victims of our feelings, unless we can in some degree command them.

  • Ann Radcliffe, The Mysteries of Udolpho, 1764

Learning how to command my feelings is the ONLY thing that has changed my failure to get to a healthy weight to success. It’s not some new diet plan. It’s not a different exercise routine. It was learning how to harness my feelings. Learning how to diffuse my feelings. Learning how to command my feelings.

Does that mean that I will never again be a victim to my feelings?

No, but now I can keep those feelings of victimization to a minimum while I work on commanding them. Now I can do something to deal with them instead of eating to hide them. If I hadn’t been taught how to manage these feelings when they come up, I would still have my head in the food. I would still be struggling.

Inner workouts are FAR more important that physical workouts. Learn how to manage your emotions and eating healthy will be easier.

6/11/2015

Set Yourself On Fire

By Laura Moncur @ 11:03 am — Filed under:

I love this quote that I read today:

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. Reggie Leach from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

  • Reggie Leach

The hardest part in that quote is that “setting yourself on fire” thing. How do you do it? For me, the way to keep going, the way to keep setting myself on fire every single day is very simple.

It’s a list.

I have a list of things to do every day. Some of the items are work related, so that I get things done and make some money. Some of the items are health related, so I finish my journey to a healthy weight. Some of the items are self-care, so that I don’t go insane. I really think the self-care items are the things that make it easier for me to eat healthy.

Here is my list of self-care items:

  • Write one page in my journal
  • Exercise 20 mins
  • Meditate 15 mins
  • Be outside in the sun for 20 mins
  • Read 30 mins
  • Practice French

Something about reading for fun or learning a new language really adds to my feeling of well-being, so I’ve added them to the list. All of these things make me sane enough that I can eat healthy every day.

If you want to set yourself on fire, think about what you need for self-care and put them on a list every day. Every day, check off those items as you do them. Every day, when you are feeling crappy and don’t want to do them, do them anyway. They are supposed to make you feel good. You’re going to feel crappy before you do them, so feeling crappy isn’t an excuse.

Don’t depend on spontaneous combustion to get yourself going. Set yourself on fire every day.

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