11/20/2014

Gentleness and Time

By Laura Moncur @ 9:47 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and it shocked me at how BAD I am at this:

When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time. Saint Francis de Sales from The Quotations Page

It reads:

When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.

  • Saint Francis de Sales

Whenever things have gotten harder in my weight loss journey, I have attacked things with stricter eating and more intense exercise. That has always led to a binge for me. I have never just tried to be gentle with myself and give myself time. I’ve done the polar opposite and gotten horrible results.

If you run into problems, try this radical idea. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing. You are at a plateau? Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t increase your workouts. Don’t change up your food. Just keep eating the calories you’re supposed to eat to lose weight safely. Just keep doing moderate workouts.

Give yourself gentleness and time.

11/17/2014

Everybody Here Is A Friend of Mine

By Laura Moncur @ 9:51 am — Filed under:

Usually when I have a migraine, I hide in a dark room, hoping to sleep it off, but last month, we were traveling to see family and I couldn’t hide. I took my two naproxen sodium pills and the pain lulled to a dull thud. Mike was going to drive and we stopped to get gas in town before leaving.

That’s when it happened… (more…)

11/16/2014

Contraints of the Space-Time Continuum

By Laura Moncur @ 12:45 pm — Filed under:

Just yesterday, I was talking about how I need to live in The Here and Now. Then this gorgeous quote from Hank Green shows up in my feed.

Constraints of the Space-Time Continuum

It reads:

I live in the present due to the constraints of the Space-Time Continuum.

It’s true. We MUST live in the present. We can’t do anything else. We can’t change the past. We can’t foresee the future. Any time spent trying to do either is WASTED time.

Every time I think about eating this way for the rest of my life, the REASON I feel panicky and unable to complete the task is because of the sheer complexity of fathoming the rest of my life. I’m not panicked about eating this way for the rest of my life. I’m just panicked about the rest of my life.

As long as I focus on TODAY, THIS MINUTE, I can do it. I am like the proverbial Verizon Guy. Can I eat healthy now? YES! Can I eat healthy NOW? YES! Can I eat healthy next year? We do NOT know! You have to wait until the Verizon Guy WALKS there, step by step, to get there. THEN, you can ask me. Can I eat healthy now? YES!

Image via: The Benevolent Slice

11/15/2014

The Here and Now

By Laura Moncur @ 2:11 pm — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and it helped me be happier with living in the now.

The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it's all we'll need. Ann Richards from The Quotations Page

It reads:

The here and now is all we have, and if we play it right it’s all we’ll need.

  • Ann Richards

I have a hard time living in the now. I am always thinking about the future or ruminating about the past. Something about the Overeater’s Anonymous program helps us put that aside and live in the now. The idea of living just ONE day at a time sounds simplistic to me, but it has helped me.

The thought of writing down every single bit of food I eat every day for the rest of my life sounds INCREDIBLY restrictive to me. I cannot even think of doing it. Can I write down every single bit of food I eat today? Oh, yeah. That’s totally easy. I can do that.

And I have been doing that for over eleven months now.

Somehow, just focusing on ONE day at a time is easy. Can I eat healthy today? Yes. Can I eat healthy for the rest of my life? I’m not even going to think about that. All I’m going to think about is The Here and Now. I’ll make that awesome and forget about everything else.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

11/14/2014

Fail Thrice

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote and it made me feel better about my weight loss failures.

Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice. Minna Thomas Antrim from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice.

  • Minna Thomas Antrim

I’ve been really beating myself up lately about the fact that it took me TEN years to get my butt to Overeater’s Anonymous. I heard about it, dismissed it and then suffered for ten more years. During that time, I failed at Weight Watchers two more times.

So I have failed thrice, which means, if Minna Thomas Antrim is to be believed, that I have uncommon strength.

I have to admit that it DID take strength to pick myself up again and try again, especially when I felt so defeated and lost. Back in October of last year, I lost ALL hope. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was powerless over food. I was going to be hungry ALL the time for the rest of my life. My only hope was to white-knuckle it between my feedings. I talked about it here:

Back then, I said:

After months of not being able to follow my plan for more than an hour each morning, I finally have a tiny modicum of success. It appears that refeeding works for anorexics and binge eaters alike.

It is over a year later, and I STILL have those alarms that go off every two and a half hours. Without questioning it, I eat when they go off and DON’T eat between times. I can ALWAYS wait a couple of hours to eat when I feel hungry. After so much failure, finding something that works is a precious jewel that I have clung to it in near desperation.

I am so grateful I was able to pick myself up and try again, even though I had failed thrice.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

11/11/2014

Mistakes Show Us What Needs Improving

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I love this quote from Peter McWilliams:

Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on? Peter McWilliams from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on?

  • Peter McWilliams

Life 101 by Peter McWilliams at Amazon.comThat quote is from a book called, Life 101. It was a life-changing book for me and definitely worth the read. You can read it online here: Life 101 by Peter McWilliams – Read Online.

The next time you go over your calories for the day or skip a workout, remember this quote. It’s an indication of what you need to work on. That mistake is a bright red reminder of where you are weak and how you can get better. It’s not a reason to punish yourself or give up. It’s just feedback.

11/7/2014

You Must Learn from the Mistakes of Others

By Laura Moncur @ 11:13 am — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and I agreed with it wholeheartedly:

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Sam Levenson from The Quotations Page

It reads:

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

  • Sam Levenson

If you are thinking that Overeater’s Anonymous can’t possibly work for you, DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!! I suffered for nearly ten years before I was so sick and discouraged that I tried it in desperation.

Whatever your reason for not giving yourself wholly to OA, drop it now. It’s just an excuse to give your disease more time to ruin your life. If you tried OA and decided it’s not for you, but you are still suffering, then that is also just an excuse to give your disease more time to ruin your life.

Honestly, there are lots of things about the program to scare people away. The introspection and the demands of rigorous honesty are HARD, but they are a hard that’s worth it. Instead of feeding your disease, take those most important steps to get yourself healthy again. Walk yourself right into an OA meeting, find a sponsor, do the step work and keep coming back.

You can’t possible live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself. Learn from mine.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

11/3/2014

Mini Rosary Bracelet

By Laura Moncur @ 11:25 am — Filed under:

My beloved rosary broke a few weeks ago, spewing beads everywhere. I’ve talked before about how I use it for weight loss meditation and it has been so helpful to me.

I gathered the beads that I could and made this mini rosary bracelet.

Mini Rosary Bracelet from Starling Fitness

So much of the rosary is just extra beads. I can count on those ten beads five times instead of carting around a huge rosary, I can wear this discrete little bracelet wherever I go. I can touch the beads and recite my meditations anywhere without anyone knowing. Very stealthy.

Here’s how I meditate with my mini rosary bracelet.

How to Meditate with a Mini Rosary Bracelet from Starling Fitness

Just like the big rosary, at the tree bead, I do the OA Promise Meditation:

I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness, no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands, we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams.

Then, each time there is a single bead, I do the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.

For the three beads, I do the Third Step Prayer:

God, I offer myself to thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always.

For the ten bead grouping, I do the Seventh Step Prayer, but I change it slightly. I do one set for each character defect I have, replacing “every single defect of character” with the particular defect (i.e. guilt, resentment, anger, etc.) and replacing the word “strength” for the corresponding positive aspect of each defect (i.e. self-acceptance, forgiveness, calm, etc.). I will write more about this technique in the future.

My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of Me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding.

Sometimes, I just do the generic seventh step prayer once and that’s more than enough to help me.

This little bracelet has given me such a peace to just see it on my wrist. No one can tell that it’s a talisman for me. You can make yourself a bracelet just like this or even make yourself a different one that works better for your needs. Find yourself a similar talisman and you will find a strength during the trying times of the day.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

11/2/2014

Better to Look Weak And Be Strong

By Laura Moncur @ 11:54 am — Filed under:

Sometimes things I write come back to smack me in the face. This quote was taken from a fiction blog I write called, Merriton.

Better to look weak and be strong than to look strong and be weak. Laura Moncur from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Better to look weak and be strong than to look strong and be weak.

  • Laura Moncur

Every time I start exercising again, it spirals out of control and I do WAY too much, which, ironically, causes a binge and usually injuries. So, I have held back on exercising. I did so much of it before and it never helped me lose weight. All it did was make me eat more.

I still walk my dog every day for a minimum of twenty minutes, but that’s something I do for her and for the sunshine that it gives me. I need at least twenty minutes of sun a day or I get a little depressed and stabby. That’s the sum total of my exercise for the last year, in which time I’ve lost a total of 56 pounds.

But then again, I know I am weak, no matter how much stronger I look.

I strained my back just walking yesterday. I didn’t pick up something too heavy or twist wrong. All I was doing was walking. THAT’S how weak I’ve become. But I don’t know how to get back to my weight-lifting regime without setting off my exercise bulimia.

I’m just as powerless over exercise as I am over food.

It has taken me a year to realize this. I NEED to exercise, just as much as I need to eat. It builds muscle. It keeps me strong. It protects my back and bones. It’s just as important as healthy food and just as binge-inducing. So, I need to treat it just like I have food ever since I joined Overeater’s Anonymous.

I’m powerless. I can’t control it. So I’ll just hand it over to someone who can.

I don’t know if it will be a trainer or my sponsor or what form my Higher Power may take in this case, but all I know is that I won’t be in charge. I overdo it and hurt myself every time I think I’m in charge.

The first job, however, is to finish unpacking the exercise room so I can use my weights again…


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

11/1/2014

Wise Men Talk

By Laura Moncur @ 12:29 pm — Filed under:

I saw this quote today and it made me think:

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. by Plato from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

  • Plato

So much of my talking is because I have to say something instead of having something to say. I like to think that I’m providing a service to those poor, shy people by yakking up a storm, but instead, I am revealing my insecurities to the world.

I’m scared of the quiet.

When things are quiet, I imagine that the other person is stewing and thinking bad thoughts about me. If they weren’t they’d talk, right?

WRONG…

Sometimes there is just nothing to say. Sometimes it’s okay for things to be quiet. My filling the air doesn’t stop the other person from thinking bad thoughts about me. In fact, my careless words might give them something bad to think.

The act of shutting my mouth and letting the other person talk or even allow there to be silence is difficult for me. It’s one act that I need to learn and practice so that I can be a better person.

« Previous Entries - Next Page »

Powered by WordPress
(c) 2004-2010 Starling Fitness / Michael and Laura Moncur