Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

The next time you think men only like skinny women, remember this song by Blind Boy Fuller.

“I got a big fat woman and don’t need little lean woman no mo’!”

I saw this on Hulu this morning:

Even though Demi Lovato looks lovely and PERFECT, some people were commenting on how she looked in a negative way. Demi was having NONE of it and turned to Twitter to answer:

I’ve gained weight. Get over it. That’s what happens when you get out of treatment for AN EATING DISORDER.

Guess what, I’m healthy and happy, and if you’re hating on my weight you obviously aren’t. #UNBROKEN

The next time someone tells you that you are too fat, remember Demi Lovato. She looks absolutely lovely and some crackpots were calling HER fat. There is no pleasing some people and they will ALWAYS be jerks. As long as you are at a healthy weight, leave the haters behind, just like Demi did!

For my whole life, they told me that I needed to have self-confidence to succeed. All those teachers and leaders urged me to love myself in order to see progress. I never once loved myself. I never once had self-confidence. I have seen enough success in my life to realize that maybe self-confidence isn’t nearly as important as they say.

Then I read this article:

• Caroming the Combination: The Paradox of Self-Confidence

It’s about playing billiards and pool and truly has nothing to do with me, but the title attracted me, so I read it. The author suggests that most of us can calculate with a pretty high degree of probability how well we are going to do. We KNOW whether we suck or not, but when we are doing it, we delude ourselves for that briefest of moments.

This isn’t superstition or some vague positive psychology. I’m saying that it is a simple matter of not allowing distracting thoughts during the execution. “I might miss this shot,” is one of the worst thoughts that you could possibly have during a shot. If that enters the mind, you probably will miss the shot.

Using the delusion of self-confidence while we are trying to do great things is a method of clearing our minds of distractions. THAT is something that I do all the time. When I’m bowling, I know how poorly I’m doing, but when I throw that ball, I am pretending that I’m a pro-bowler on ESPN THE OCHO. When I’m logging my daily food intake, I know how likely I will be able to stay under my 20g of carbs, but when I’m choosing food, I pretend that I am a carnivore.

Self-Confidence is a delusion. The only people who truly have it are utterly insufferable. Those of us who use it as a method to avoid distractions, succeed far beyond our meager hopes for ourselves.

I may have left Weight Watchers, but I still get their magazine. As betrayed as I feel, I still find motivational things in every issue. Take this poster, for example.

It reads:

Not worrying about how I look is so liberating. I can finally walk on the beach and just appreciate the beauty of it.

• Lisa M., WWM Reader

I have never in my life not worried about how I look. I try to take the zen approach and assume that I look bad no matter what, so I shouldn’t worry about it, but that hasn’t worked very well for me. I wonder what it would feel like to just be so comfortable in my skin that I didn’t think about my tummy, legs or upper arms. I wonder if I will ever be able to do that, even when I am at my goal weight.

Maybe being comfortable with my appearance has more to do with my state of mind than my body.

This old video of Big Bird singing Everyone Makes Mistakes brought back so many memories for me.

Sometimes I find myself singing this song to myself and it really seems to help me, especially when I feel like I haven’t done my best when eating. The next time you are beating yourself up for something you ate or exercise you skipped, remember this song and give yourself a break. Get up, brush yourself off and get back on track!

I received a reminder from ROFLrazzi today. Back in June 2010, Lindsay Lohan blamed the alarm on her SCRAM bracelet on kombucha, causing it to be pulled from the market. Kombucha typically has no more alcohol than a glass of orange juice, so I was disgusted with her and her poor excuse for falling off the wagon.

Why can’t that girl get her act together?

Then I cringed in self-knowledge. Who was I to judge Lindsay Lohan? I couldn’t get my eating act together. I had continually fallen off the wagon. Suddenly, Lindsay Lohan became a beacon of inspiration to me.

Every time I considered bingeing on food, I thought of Lindsay Lohan. I didn’t want to be like her. I want to be strong and be able to say no to my addictions, so I step away from the fridge, cupboard or drive-thru. I haven’t been constantly food sober since June, but I have had far more progress than I ever had before I invoked the image of Lindsay every time I was tempted.

If I were followed around by paparazzi, taking photos of every time I put a bite of food in my mouth, I would live my life far differently. I imagine them there, watching me and waiting for me to screw up. Poor Lindsay has the real world version of that problem. Just thinking about her helps me make better eating decisions every day.

The next time you point a finger at someone who seems to have trouble with an addiction, remember yourself. Pay attention to your own addictions and they will be easier to conquer.

I LOVE this advertisement. It was for some body building protein powder and I’d never buy that product, but that ad is GREAT for motivation.

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Sometimes when I just can’t get the motivation to exercise, I like to think of myself as a hero. I have to train in order to be ready for when the action hits. Would I be able to run away if I needed to? Would I be strong enough to fight my way free? Thinking about these things makes it a little easier to do my workout.

The next time you’re considering skipping your workout, remember this ad and think of yourself as an action figure.

Remember in yesterday’s post when I said that things always work out better for me if I am my own cheerleader? It turns out that there is science behind the idea of keeping your goals to yourself. This talk from Derek Sivers at the TED conference explains it:

Think of your personal biggest goal. Imagine deciding right now that you’re going to do it. Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you’re going to do. Imagine their congratulations and their high image of you. Doesn’t it feel good to say it out loud? Don’t you feel one step closer already like it’s already becoming part of your identity? Well, bad news. You should have kept your mouth shut, because that good feeling will make you less likely to do it.

That backfiring of every compliment I receive when I lose weight is something that happens to ALL of us. Announcing our goals makes us feel like we’ve actually accomplished them, so from now on, I’m keeping my mouth SHUT!

Whenever I get back on track, I tell everyone that I know that I am back to eating healthy and that I need a little encouragement. All the people who love me are really good at cheering me on, but there is something about getting that feedback that backfires on me. After every compliment and every positive remark, I lose steam. I don’t know what it is about having a cheerleader that makes me slack off, but I’ve definitely noticed a pattern.

This time, I’ve kept my mouth shut.

I’ve been working on the simplest of things: tracking my food every day, staying within my caloric restrictions and following five out of my seven healthy habits every day. If I do all three, I get another day added to my “food sobriety.” I’ve been food sober for over ten days now, but I haven’t really talked about it with anyone. Having a family of cheerleaders isn’t nearly as helpful for me as being my own cheerleader.

If you have noticed that every time you tell someone about your eating plan, you blow it, then try NOT telling anyone anything. Maybe you’ll see more success if you be your own cheerleader.

This postcard from PostSecret made me feel sad.

It reads:

I think my husband loves me “the way I am” because he doesn’t want me to lose weight & be attractive to other men.

This thought is very dangerous. It doesn’t matter whether your spouse wants you to stay fat or not. Thinking that your loved one doesn’t want you to be attractive is a very defeating idea. It gives you an excuse to live an unhealthy lifestyle. It makes you fearful of getting stronger because you might hurt your partner’s feelings.

Even worse, it makes you scared of being all you can be. The idea that the opposite sex will suddenly start to find you interesting when you get to a healthy weight is scary if you aren’t equipped to fend off advances. In all honesty, people can tell when you don’t want them to hit on you.

If this secret hit home with you, let’s make a deal. You start eating healthy and exercising regularly. When you get to your goal weight, make sure you give the “don’t even try it” vibe. If the opposite sex still makes passes at you, then here are some resources you can use to protect yourself:

• How to Politely Turn Down A Date
• How to Politely Turn Down a Guy | eHow.com

Don’t let your worries about social awkwardness get in the way of your health. You owe it to yourself to live a healthy lifestyle. Move past this fear and you will feel stronger physically AND emotionally.

PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.