3/26/2015

Self-Destructive Behaviors

By Laura Moncur @ 2:20 pm — Filed under:

This postcard from PostSecret showed up during Eating Disorders Week.

Self Destructive Behaviors from PostSecret

It reads:

The worst thing about self-destructive behaviors is when no one notices.

Sometimes our eating behaviors can hide. I wasn’t able to hide mine, although I ate upwards of 5000 calories a day during my worst, so perhaps my exercise was hiding some of my eating problems. There are many people who suffer who don’t LOOK like they have a problem and it doesn’t help that our society prefers to look at people who are scarily thin.

If you have a problem with eating, get help. Just because your family and friends and maybe even your doctor hasn’t noticed, doesn’t mean that you aren’t in trouble. Get into Overeater’s Anonymous. We will welcome you with open arms because we understand.


PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

3/13/2015

PostSecret: I Thought I Was Fat

By Laura Moncur @ 7:42 am — Filed under:

This postcard from PostSecret broke my heart.

PostSecret: I never gave anyone these because I thought I was fat from Starling Fitness

It reads:

I never gave anyone these because I thought I was fat.

When I saw these photos, I imagined the person who didn’t get them. There was SOMEONE in love with this girl. I don’t know who that person was, but they did not get the photo. That person wished that she would give them a photo. That person cried when the photos came out and didn’t get one because they believed that someone else got all the pictures instead of them hiding in a box somewhere.

If you think you’re fat, STOP DOING THIS! If you KNOW you’re fat, STOP DOING THIS! There is someone out there RIGHT NOW, who loves you. That person WANTS a photo of you in all your “fatness.” Whether your fatness is real or imagined, don’t let it stop you from getting the love you deserve. There is someone out there who wants to love you. Don’t disappoint them. Don’t push them away. Give them the photos.


PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.

2/6/2015

Butter in Coffee: You DO Know What Butter Is Made Of, Right?

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

My Facebook page is filled with posts from my friends talking about putting butter into your coffee. Here is a link to an article that is an example:

The latest trend in coffee may boost your energy and help you lose weight. Or maybe you’ll just throw up.

Go ahead, put some butter in your joe.

Well, not just any butter, and not just any coffee.  The butter has to be unsalted and grass-fed, and the coffee beans have to be low-toxin – not the ones you find at the supermarket or Starbucks.

This trend is supposed to give you a little extra fat in your diet, which is really what many of us DO need to inch out the carbs in our diet. The problem is, butter? Why butter?

For hundreds of years, we have been doing this. We have been putting “butter” in our coffee. It’s called CREAM. You DO know what butter is made of, right?

Butter in Coffee - You DO Know What Butter Is Made Of, Right - Starling Fitness

You wan’t a “creamy” latte? How about this radical idea? PUT CREAM IN YOUR COFFEE!

Bulletproof Coffee is just a food trend. It’s not a magic thing that will help you lose weight. It’s a fad. If you need a bit of fat added to your diet, add some cream to your coffee. Steer clear of the fad.

1/5/2015

PostSecret: I Blame All My Problems on My Weight

By Laura Moncur @ 9:40 am — Filed under:

This postcard from PostSecret could have been my own, so it’s comforting to know that there is another person out there who feels the same as I did.

PostSecret- I blame all my problems on my weight

It reads:

I blame all my problems on my weight…

This was one of the biggest stumbling blocks to getting healthy for me. Just like the person who sent in this card, I thought that my life would be perfect once I got thin.

And then I got thin, or nearly thin…

And my life still sucked. I was starving myself (and bingeing as well), and I was still miserable, even though I was so close to my goal weight. It felt so pointless to put forth all this effort if being thin didn’t solve the problem.

Ironically, when I solved my emotional and spiritual problems, eating healthy and exercising moderately became SO much easier. Now, I feel great AND I’m not starving myself. That’s why the twelve steps are so helpful because they solve those problems that make you miserable so that you don’t NEED to eat to forget them.

If you are feeling horrible and blaming everything on your weight, get yourself to Overeater’s Anonymous and work through the steps diligently with a sponsor. Be entirely honest and you won’t have as many problems to blame on your weight anymore.


PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

12/31/2014

One Small Difference After Another

By Laura Moncur @ 9:44 am — Filed under:

This quote reminds me that big resolutions don’t really help me.

I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another. Ellen Goodman from The Quotations Page

It reads:

I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.

  • Ellen Goodman

This is VERY applicable to me at this New Year’s Resolution time. I used to set New Year’s Resolutions and decide on life-changing diets and exercise regimes at this time of year. Over the last year, I have learned that the only New Year’s Resolution that has ever helped me was resolving to get my butt to an Overeater’s Anonymous meeting. All the other ones just sent me on the pathway to a binge.

I’ve learned that my eating disorder has TWO facets: bingeing and over-exercising. I would set up a restrictive diet and a strict exercise plan and then I would binge after a couple of weeks of restriction. I used to think that the restriction part of the cycle was the cure to my bingeing, but I was wrong. It was part of my disease.

This New Year’s Resolution is just ONE thing: I devote myself to the greater good. Whatever that entails, I will follow it. Eating healthy and exercising moderately is part of the greater good. Helping other people is part of the greater good. Being a better person emotionally is part of the greater good. THAT will be my question to everything I think of: Is this part of the greater good? Am I helping myself and others with this action? If not, I won’t do it. If so, I’ll do it to the best of my ability, asking for help when I fall short.

Let your only New Year’s Resolution this year be a dedication to the greater good. You will be shocked at the outcome compared to former years.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

12/27/2014

Change Takes Time

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

Next week, it will be a year. I have lost sixty pounds in a year, which is just barely over a pound a week. I’m still not at a healthy weight, but I’m closer than I’ve been in a long time.

I just want you to know ONE thing about this year.

Change Takes Time from Starling Fitness

Change takes time. Be patient.

Whenever I tried to lose weight quickly, it just ended up in a binge. When I gave myself time, it came off. Whenever I tried to boot up my exercise, I just ended up injured and bingeing. Don’t try to hurry this. Be patient and give yourself the time you need.

12/20/2014

Search for Virtues and Vices

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

This quote is so helpful when you are dealing with other people in the Overeater’s Anonymous program.

Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices. Benjamin Franklin from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.

  • Benjamin Franklin

When you sit in a meeting, you hear a lot about other people’s vices. They are GLARINGLY obvious to you. I’ve talked about this before here:

Those vices that you see in others are vices within yourself that you need to work on. It’s part of the old principle:

If you spot it, you've got it. If it makes you mad, you've got it bad. from Starling Fitness

If you spot it, you’ve got it.

If it makes you mad, you got it bad.

So when you are in a meeting or talking to another member of OA, remember that when they share and you get bugged by their vices, those are YOUR vices that you need to work on.

The flip side to this quote is the searching for virtues. Everyone has a good side. Everyone has an asset. FIND those assets in other people. TELL them about them. There is no wholly bad person on this planet. Every person has something good about them. When you are talking to other members, don’t mention how to fix their vices. Use their share to fix your own vices. When you talk to them, tell them about their virtues that you have noticed.

This is how we lovingly deal with each other. This is how we heal. This is how we recover.


Overeater’s Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog. I speak only of my personal experience and not for OA as a whole.

12/16/2014

Naked Ladies and Food

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

A funny thing happened to my thinspiration Tumblrs and RSS feeds. They turned into naked ladies and food. I don’t know what happened, but instead of inspiring images to help me stay on my program, all I see now are naked ladies and food.

This is NOT thinspiration. It's Porn. From Starling Fitness

This is NOT thinspiration. It's Food Porn. From Starling Fitness

Now, my biggest question is this: Did they change or did I? I used to see pictures of healthy, nearly naked women and get inspired to exercise. Now, they just look like porn to me. I used to see pictures of food and think that I could use a new recipe to mix things up. Now, they just look like food porn to me.

Did the nature of the photos change or am I different somehow? I don’t know, but all of my favorite Tumblrs are useless to me now…

Original Images Via:

11/13/2014

Nothing Is Easy to the Unwilling

By Laura Moncur @ 8:00 am — Filed under:

I found a quote yesterday that explained the last decade of suffering to me quite nicely.

Nothing is easy to the unwilling. Nikki Giovanni from The Quotations Page

It reads:

Nothing is easy to the unwilling.

  • Nikki Giovanni

I thought I was willing. I wrote down EVERY bite of food that went into my mouth, all 7000 calories each day. I went to Weight Watchers EVERY week, vowing to follow the program this time. Even during earlier times, I faithfully ate everything they told me, right down to the whole grain wheat that ripped and tore at my intestines until they bled. I thought I was willing, but I wasn’t.

I wasn’t willing to do what I needed to do.

I needed to be humble. I needed to believe that I didn’t know everything. I needed to just walk my fat butt into the doors of Overeaters Anonymous, even though I “knew” that the god stuff wouldn’t work for me.

Last January, I became willing. So entirely willing that I pretty much did whatever my sponsor told me to do within hours of her telling me. I went through the steps so quickly that it was surprising, but that’s because I didn’t piddle around. I didn’t waste any time. I was so damn willing that I DID it.

If you are unwilling, you are like that huge rock in the picture. There won’t be anything that can move you. You might think that you are doing what you need to do to get healthy, but just like all my “willingness” in Weight Watchers, it won’t help you a bit. You need to do what WORKS. And for me, Overeaters Anonymous worked.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

11/10/2014

There Is Help for Relapse

By Laura Moncur @ 10:11 am — Filed under:

This postcard from PostSecret made me so sad for the person who sent it in.

Relapse from Starling Fitness

It reads:

I can’t bear to tell my family I relapsed so instead I quietly suffer… alone.

I wouldn’t have thought this was about an eating disorder until I saw the “food+body wisdom” circle pasted in the middle. After a little research, I found that it is for Opal, which is a clinic in Seattle, Washington for those with disordered eating.

The person who wrote the postcard is not only aching from the relapse and all the pain in which that encompasses, but from the exorbitant cost her family paid to put her through Opal in the first place. They might accept your health insurance, but they are VERY clear that they are a paid facility with the comment, “Prior to receiving services, every effort will be made to verify insurance eligibility and benefits and educate clients about possible financial obligations. We accept check and credit card for any out of pocket financial obligations.

There is a way to get help without admitting yourself to a facility that is going to bankrupt your family. Get yourself to Overeaters Anonymous. Find a meeting here:

You might not be able to be honest with your family, but you are sure to feel more at home with a room full of people who have the same problem as you do. Binge Eaters, Bulimics, and Anorexics are all welcome there. Your only requirement is that you want to stop being sick about food. You don’t have to burden your family with “financial obligations.” You can get help with us.


Overeaters Anonymous does not endorse anything on this entry or blog.


PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.

« Previous Entries - Next Page »

Powered by WordPress
(c) 2004-2010 Starling Fitness / Michael and Laura Moncur