Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

I found this quote the other day and it seemed like the opposite of what I was told my whole life:

It reads:

Manifest plainness,

Embrace simplicity,

Reduce selfishness,

Have few desires.

– Lao-tzu

“Manifest plainness,” in particular, was something that was NEVER taught me, either by my family or society in general. Instead of suggesting that I manifest plainness, I was told that I should stand out. Buy this and you will stand out. Excel in school and you will stand out. Get a prestigious job and you will stand out.

I never once in my life thought that “standing out” might be bad for me.

But that desire to stand out has HARMED me. I have sacrificed money, emotion and time to it with no change in my feelings about myself. I thought that if I went to a prestigious school that I would feel better about myself. I didn’t. I thought that if I bought these cool clothes that I would feel better about myself. I didn’t. I thought that if I got that cool job I would would feel better about myself. I didn’t.

No matter what I sacrificed on the altar of “Standing Out,” it didn’t help me. No Coach purse. No fancy degree. No prestigious job. NOTHING helped make me feel worthy. It was never enough. No matter how many degrees, fashionable clothes or jobs I had, there was always someone with MORE.

And then someone told me I had to be humble and everything changed.

HUMILITY has made it all better. The realization that we are all the same. We all are born. We all die. We all are mere humans on this big, blue, marble. No one is higher than me. No one is below me. We are all on the same level.

That concept made all of the “Standing Out” seem unnecessary. Suddenly, I could see what “Standing Out” meant. Anyone who was trying to show how much better they were was someone who was trying to prove something that just wasn’t true. It was like holding up a huge sign that said, “I don’t think I’m good enough.” THAT is what the tags on designer clothes say. They scream, “I don’t think I’m good enough,” so loudly that I can’t hear a word the person is saying. THAT is what bragging about your alma mater or your job is: chanting, “I don’t think I’m good enough,” over and over.

“Manifest plainness,” isn’t about making yourself purposefully less than others. It’s about NOT screaming your inadequacies out to the world. It’s about not desperately trying to prove that you are better. It’s humility and true humility is far more attractive than anything in a fashion magazine.

I did a Google image search for the phrase, “Halloween Temptations,” and this a snapshot of what I got:

I really don’t know how I feel about this. The sexy girl costumes outnumber the candy images about three to one.

What does that mean?

Honestly, I think they are both related. We are tempted by Halloween candy, but we are also tempted by that idea that we could be the sexiest girl in the room. BOTH of those ideas are a problem. The first is misusing food as a recreational device and the second is feeding pride instead of humility.

There is nothing wrong with sexy Halloween costumes. It’s the feeling of wanting to be the cutest girl in the room that sets up a judgment that is unfair both to us and everyone else in the room.

For me, the Halloween candy and black spider cupcakes are a far less temptation than that desire to be the girl that everyone notices. Wanting to be the best has hurt me so many times that I have learned that it’s an indication that there is a problem in my life. Wanting to be the girl in the black cat costume is DANGEROUS. Ironically, it will MAKE me eat.

The next time you have the temptation to be better than the people around you, take a moment and remember that we are all the SAME. No one is higher or lower than you. We are all on equal footing and every time we try to prove that isn’t true, we are treading on dangerous ground.

I found this quote today on The Quotations Page and it really spoke to me.

It reads:

“I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty…This is my highest and best use as a human.”

• Ben Stein, E! Online, 12-20-03

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that when you want to take your first drink, you should admit your problem to another person and then immediately try to find someone else to help. It doesn’t specify that you need to find another alcoholic. It doesn’t matter WHO you help, just that you help someone else.

This is GREAT advice when I’m thinking of eating when I shouldn’t. If I just pick up the telephone and call someone else asking if they need help, I find relief. I don’t even need to help them, I feel better just calling. Ironically, I don’t even need to TALK to them. I feel better if I just leave a message. All I need to do is try to THINK about someone else and their problems and the desire to eat evaporates.

Overeaters Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous do not endorse anything on this entry or blog.

I saw this screenshot from the video game, Animal Crossing on redribbonpresents and it made me laugh out loud.

It reads:

I think I’ll just sit down and hope that a taco truck drives up and serves me delicious tacos.

That’s not a really good food plan, Ankha.

Then again, how many times have I done the EXACT same thing. I refuse to plan my meals because I want the “freedom” to eat what I feel like. That’s EXACTLY like sitting down and hoping for a taco truck to come along. If I want to eat what I feel like eating, I have to PLAN it! Why did it take a screenshot from a child’s video game to remind me of that?!

I saw this quote today and it really helped me:

It reads:

Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads, let love through good deeds show.

• Edwin Arnold

They keep telling us that to love ourselves, we need to repeat affirmations into the mirror, but they are WRONG. The way we tell ourselves that we love ourselves is by being NICE to ourselves. Dress in clean and mended clothes. Eat healthy food. Stay active in a fun way. Take a shower. Meditate daily. Doing all of these things will show yourself love far more than anything you could say to yourself in the mirror.