Power Thirst

By Laura Moncur @ 5:00 am — Filed under:

This is a commercial parody. It’s for something called Power Thirst.

The hyperbole is so specific:

Try Power Thirst: energy drinks for people who need gratuitous amounts of energy!

After watching this, suddenly ALL energy commercials seem like they are lying to me.

As far as I can tell, most energy drinks are just sugar and caffeine. They run about 150 calories to a whopping 300 calories. Now, I have had my own problems with caffeine in the past. It doesn’t affect everyone that way, but does ANYONE really need 300 calories of unpleasant-tasting liquid?

If you REALLY need a caffeinated jolt, why not just take a No-Doz pill? It has zero calories and the same boost of caffeine. I suspect that the reason people don’t start every day with a No-Doz pill is because pills have a negative connotation. It’s hard not to notice that caffeine is a drug when you take it in pill form. When you drink two cups of coffee or chug a Rock Star, Red Bull or Amp, it just feels like a morning drink.

Be honest with yourself. Caffeine is a drug. It can be a useful drug. It is a legal drug, but it’s IS a drug. You’re not drinking “energy,” you’re drinking caffeine and sugar. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you consciously know that you’re turning to caffeine every day.

Be honest with your caffeine intake, otherwise you’re lying to yourself just as much as the Power Thirst people are.


3 Responses to “Power Thirst”

  1. The Bum Says:

    I’ve been taking a No-Doz with a big glass of water every morning when the alarm goes off for close to twenty years now. It’s the only caffeine I have all day. Never liked coffee. When the alarm goes off all I have to do is reach over and swallow the pill. Ten minutes later, I’m up and at ’em. Works for me. BTW, I really don’t have a problem with “drugs.” They can be very helpful and even save your life. I think sugar is a much more harmful and addictive drug.

  2. Diana Says:

    Whoa! I have a SERIOUS problem with that, but I respect the fact that it works for you and that you’re okay with it. I would like to thank Laura for all that you’ve said regarding the negative effects caffeine can have on our bodies…in particular these new “energy” drinks. Thanks! –Diana, NASM CPT

  3. Lucky Says:

    omg…this is so funny…

    “you want strawberry? what about RAWBERRY?? made with lightning! REAL LIGHTNING!”

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