By Laura Moncur @ 5:00 am — Filed under:

Twenty pounds since March. That’s how much weight I’ve gained because of my struggles with bingeing. I’ve been eating healthy for almost five days now. It took me a while to realize what my problem was, but I think I finally cracked it.

I thought that I was just lonely after SXSW, but really I was feeling jealous of all the girls who were more successful than I am.

How many times do I need to tell myself that it’s not a competition? Life is about living, not about “beating” someone else.

Five days is the longest I’ve gone eating healthy since March. I know they say that you are never cured of your eating disorder, you just manage it. I don’t want to believe it. I want to believe that that was the last time I ever have to fight that demon, but the damn thing keeps coming back.

Twenty pounds… I feel like I’m starting all over from scratch.


9 Responses to “Bingeing”

  1. Daryl Kulak Says:

    Hey, I’m right there with you! Twenty pounds gained in the past few months. Bingeing is my problem too.

    I’ve been eating healthy for a couple of weeks now too, and exercising a lot. I started using HyperStrike, which is a fascinating virtual personal trainer. It has helped keep me motivated (for now). ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Tovah Says:

    Oh my gosh- I so feel for you. And I want to apologize…you spend so much time and energy taking care of all of us out here in cyberland- writing every day, listing amazing links and products… I guess it never occured to me that YOU might need boosts and encoragement,too. I feel badly that I’ve been reading your posts daily for a long time but almost never posted a comment. You’ve been such a help to me- because of you I started WW Core and I’m losing weight for the first time in years and feel great…but, as always, I’m hanging on by my fingernails. You’re one of my lifelines and I can’t thank you enough. I’m glad you’ve fought off the binge demons and I’m cheering for you. Thanks again and all the best to you.

  3. Colleen Says:

    Yours is one of my “must-read” sites. Every day. Thanks for your inspiration. I began the WW points plan almost 4 weeks ago. Your site helps keep me going. I understand the binging thing. I can pack on the pounds quicker than quick. I’ll put you on my prayer list. Thanks again.

  4. Picture It: Says:

    I know my demon well: My overeating/binges satisfies me, numbs me, and allows me to avoid my emotions (temporarily). I eat so that I do not have to face what is bothering me internally.

    I dropped 112 pounds not because I dealt with my emotional eating/binges, but I loss because I learned to enjoy exercising and jogging.

    However, I am aware that permanent weight loss is impossible unless my emotional eating (using food for comfort or to cope with life) is under control.

    I am aware that my mental process of handling anxiety is warped and that I must relearn the correct way of handling anxiety instead of covering it with food.

    I can now put my cake down more days than I pick it up, this is what I call managing my eating disorder. I am learning to manage it better daily as I continually learn and put into action: “Problem solving starts without food.”

    Laura, I have no doubt that you know your demon as well as I know mine and that when it returns, which it will, that you will be ready to play ball. We all wish you the best.

  5. Amanda Says:

    You can do this. One baby step at a time. You’ve inspired me so much. Thank you for sharing your struggles.

    I went on a massive binge last night, and I almost felt all was lost. I lost 20 pounds earlier in the year only to put 10 of it back on after my Great-Grandfather’s funeral in March. I’ve lost 7 of the 10 that I regained. Those last 3 keep coming and going. I felt like just staying fat. Who cares if I’m almost 300 pounds?

    Then I read this. I consider you a great success, and you have a hard time! I think alot of our eating problems stem from being too hard on ourselves and not loving who we are. I see you, someone who is a great role model for me, having the same struggles. You are human, and I’m human. My sympathy for you makes me sympathetic to myself. I won’t give up. And I know you won’t either.

    You can do this, Laura. One step and one bite at a time. You can do this. And so can I!

  6. Laura Moncur Says:


    Thanks so much for the comment. I feel so unworthy to be a role model, so let’s just be friends and get through this together. When I started, I weighed 235 pounds and I was well on my way to 300.

    It’s hard now, but the breaking point happens to me at 175 instead of 235 now. I just have to look at that as progress. You can do this. We can do it together.

    Thanks again, Laura

  7. Laurel Says:

    First visit to this site; reading the posts on bingeing. Any backsliders out there? I had lost almost 60 pounds, and needed to lose about 20 more, but 20 have crept back on instead. Can’t seem to get back on track. And I know how you feel, Laura. I own a fitness franchise, and feel terrible about the example I’m setting.

    I see this over and over and over again with my members, too. Backsliding sucks; why does it happen and how can we prevent it?

  8. www.iportion.com Says:

    I am prone to binge eat myself. It doesn’t mean you failed when your not OP just that what tour doing is not working for you at the time.

  9. Dana Says:

    I have gained these 20 pounds more times than I can count…all because of bingeing. the past two weeks i was doing really well, didn’t binge and lost a good 6 pounds.. Within the past 4 days I have gained it all back and have become so unhappy and depressed because I don’t think I can ever overcome this. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to feel this way, so scared of when i’ll binge next, when I’m trying so hard to do well..

Leave a Reply


Powered by WordPress
(c) 2004-2017 Starling Fitness / Michael and Laura Moncur