Buy Walking VideosThe Girl At The Bus Stop
Would you flail me alive if I told you that I notice the 300 pound young woman who waits for the bus every morning? I pass her with my car. I pass her on my bike. She waits for the bus with her headphones blaring. Anyone who rides the bus regularly soon learns to arm themselves with headphones. Otherwise the mentally unstable riders who see you everyday assume that you’re their friend. Her headphones announce, “Stay away. I’m not your friend.” I noticed her look at me when I passed her in my Beetle once. I smiled at her, hoping to coax a smile out of her, but she turned away.
I’m only guessing at her weight. She towers over me in height, clocking in at almost six feet tall. If I was as fat as she is, I would weigh about 300 pounds, but I’m only 5’2″, so she must weigh more. My eye is drawn to her every day. She waits for the Westbound 30 and I whiz past her on my bike, trying to avoid her gaze despite being drawn to look at her.
Most of the time, I feel like I was only a few pounds away from her fate when I joined Weight Watchers. I feel a kinship to her. I feel the desire to print up my before pictures and show them to her. I want to pull her aside and secretly tell her that I have found the path to a healthier life. If she wants to follow it, I’ll show her the way. I want to give her my bike and tell her to ride it every day, even though it’s far too small for her long legs.
I know that’s the worst thing I could possibly do. I still sting from the casual mention from the grocery store clerk looking at my selection of food. She said, “Have you see that Body For Life book?” She pointed at the book at the checkout. “I can’t believe those before and after pictures. Those people lost all that weight in just 12 weeks.” She might have just been making small talk, but it still stung.
The best thing for me to do is just leave that girl alone. All she is doing is waiting for her bus every day. Her headphones make it perfectly clear what she thinks of me, “Stay away. I’m not your friend.”
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August 31st, 2005 at 1:55 am
wow, good for you. It is true in so many areas of life that the best way to help a person is just to accept them. I think that people pushing me to change (things that did not directly affect them, but just made them uncomfortable) was part of the crap I had to wade through TO change. I try to remind myself of that when I want to change people I love. It is such a gift to just be accepted as you are.
September 1st, 2005 at 10:34 am
True… for weight loss, the person has to have that “a-HA!” moment and decide to do it themselves. It’s not like people who are fat don’t KNOW they’re fat. They don’t need our help. If someone asks me about what I do, then I’m glad to tell them, but not till I’m asked!