Starling Fitness: Daily writings on Fitness, Diet, and Health

I saw the graffiti on the wall and felt the shame. FAT! It was a word that was used to torment me all through grade school. Seeing it there, on the wall was like a stranger had made a judgment call across the space-time continuum. I felt that whoever sprayed that word on the wall knew I was coming and made it known that there is something wrong with me.

As I walked away, I tried to tell myself that it was cool. Fat is something that is cool now, right? Phat beats… Of course, the cool kind of fat is spelled with a “ph” and it’s about a decade too late to be cool anymore. No, fat pretty much still means fat…

I tried calm myself down as I headed to my destination. There is no way that the graffiti was trying to torment me. It was sprayed there less than a week ago, but the tagger couldn’t have possibly had me in mind when the can colored the wall. That word on the wall had nothing to do with me. It still stung, though. It was like the wall knew I was coming and said exactly what it was thinking.

When I tell people that I used to be fat, they are surprised. I can almost tell what they are thinking behind their eyes. They think that I was fat for a little while and I got over it like most people get over the flu. There was some sweating and discomfort, but now I’m all better.

I’m here to tell you that it wasn’t like that for me. I was fat before I remember being myself. I think my personality came into being the day that I realized that I was fat. Fat is so much a part of me that I see the word on a wall and identify with it so strongly that I think it was placed there specifically for me. I don’t know if fat will ever leave my psyche. Maybe I’ll spend the rest of my life feeling bigger than my body.

On the way home from my appointment, I stopped and looked at the wall. I pulled the camera out of my purse and clicked a few pictures. I decided that if I identify with the word so much, I might as well take it into myself and make it positive somehow. I don’t know how, but that’s the goal.

The foodie weblogs are fun to read and sometimes I find something interesting to write about. Imagine my surprise when a person who is unashamedly addicted to food voiced my same feelings about processed food.

• Slashfood – Hostess: the CupCake no longer beloved – by Sarah Gilbert

Sarah Gilbert explained that her once-beloved treat from childhood, the Hostess Cupcake, was no longer something she had any desire for. It wasn’t about health or fitness or diet. It was about the taste of the food. She has eaten the best of the cupcakes from the finest bakeries around the country. Hostess just doesn’t do it for her anymore.

Ironically, the finest cupcakes from the elite bakeries around the country probably have about the same amount of calories and fat as the Hostess variety. If I’m going to spend that many calories on something, it better be the best.

Years ago, I had a subscription to a magazine called Mode. It went belly up and I ended up being sent Woman’s Day for the remainder of my subscription. Mode was a magazine for full-figured women and I loved it. Instead, they sent me a magazine full of fattening recipes and not a single full-figured woman on its pages. I’m still angry and it has been years since that replacement subscription finished up.

When I Googled the words Lane Bryant to check the spelling for yesterday’s entry, I found this magazine featured on their website:

• Figure Magazine – The New Shape of Fashion

It’s supposed to be available in their stores or you can get a subscription here. After looking at the their website, I really don’t know what to think. They haven’t provided enough content for me to see whether I would enjoy it or not. I am put off by the advertisement for the fad diet, “Your Hidden Food Allergies Are Making You Fat” under the Figure Finds section.

I think I’ll drop by Lane Bryant and buy a copy. I really miss Mode Magazine. It was one of the influences that persuaded me to decide to love myself as I am and to quit dieting. The minute I made that decision, my life took a turn for the better. I made healthier choices in my life and I eventually decided to eat well and exercise in order to be healthy instead of conforming to some preset notion about feminine beauty.

This photo is stunning. John Galliano’s spring show included this fabulously beautiful model among his waifs. He also included older models, a dwarf and other extremes of the human form. The reviewer stated that the show “evoked a carnival sideshow.” I don’t know if that is what John Galliano was shooting for, but I don’t care.

For once, he showed that fat and beautiful are not mutually exclusive descriptions. This woman is drop dead gorgeous and I want to own that dress, even though I have no where to wear it. Even if he was trying to promote a freak show atmosphere, I don’t care. Fat AND beautiful women were no longer invisible for this one show. They say that the show attendees laughed when the models walked out on the runway. I’d rather be visible and laughed at than invisible and ignored.

• Washington Post – Citizen Models

I’m not a slave to the fashion world. Before reading this article, I had never heard the name John Galliano. The only reason I know who Karl Lagerfeld is because he lost a lot of weight. I think I’ve ignored the fashion world because they never made clothes for me when I was fat. Now that I’m thin, they can keep their clothes. I’d keep shopping at Lane Bryant if I could because they were there for me when I really needed them.

For once, a designer has acknowledged that fat women can be spectacular, sexy and gorgeous. Thanks, John Galliano.

Via: Big Fat Blog: The Reaction to a Runway Model

They didn’t talk about this at all on the show, but I didn’t miss it. Two weeks ago, Seth didn’t lose anything. Last week, Seth lost two pounds. This week, he dropped a whopping 12 pounds. After keeping his focus for three straight weeks, he finally got a payoff on the scale. They didn’t mention this on the show, but this is how normal people lose weight, except with more reasonable numbers.

Next time I find myself on a plateau, I’m going to keep going. I’ll keep following my program and hold on. A loss is just around the corner, and I’ll prove that scale wrong, just like Seth did.

What I really want to know is what Dr. Jeff is doing to lose double digits every week for six straight weeks. He has lost a total of 100 pounds since he started the show. I’m so proud that he was willing to do whatever Jillian told him to do. If we all were so dedicated, weight loss would be easy. When he got on the scale this week, they showed him kissing his bracelets that he always wears. They haven’t mentioned the meaning of those bracelets, but I imagined each of his daughters and his lovely wife. He has been separated from them for so long and he hasn’t partaken of any of the temptations because he promised his wife he wouldn’t.

Next time I’m tempted to binge, I’m going to think about Dr. Jeff. He has stayed away from money gambles and the chance to have the power to choose the teams. If he can avoid all those temptations, then so can I.

I don’t know if any of you noticed, but the prize for this week’s challenge was the NeXfit exercise bike. It connects to a PC computer and allows you to control games by riding the bike. They have one that connects to Xbox and Playstation 2 also, but the one they gave away was the PC version. Everyone was fighting for immunity, but I would have been fighting for the cool bike.

Previous Entries About NeXfit:

• Starling Fitness » neXfit Bike – Does it exist?

• Starling Fitness » neXfit Bike – Update

UPDATE 11-11-05: I received a comment from a reader:

“Saw they gave away one of these on the Biggest Loser the other night. Thought I would check and see what the company was up to. Bad news – there websites (US and Canada) are no longer up. When you call the number listed above – the now have at least say you have reached Nexfit – but no answer.” – James

The link worked on 11-09-05, when I posted this article, but James is right. They aren’t working right now. Maybe The Biggest Loser pushed their server over the limit, or maybe they don’t exist anymore. That makes me sad. I really love peripherals that endorse exercise with gaming.

Ben Goldacre with The Guardian wrote up this article explaining why most diet books make things more complicated.

• badscience – Nutritionist-free diets – by Ben Goldacre

His idea is that we all know that a healthy diet consists of eating your fruits and vegetables, some whole grains and some protein. Simple, right? Yes. It’s so simple that you could fit all the recommendations on a 3X5 card. Not much to fill up a book.

More importantly, when things are that simple, there is nothing left for marketing. If all we need to do is go to the Farmer’s Market to get healthy food, then we don’t need the prepackaged stuff. Atkins Nutritionals may have gone out of business, but the idea was genius. You can only buy a diet book once, but if the public becomes dependent on your food line, then you keep them coming in.

It’s one of the reasons that I feel uncomfortable with Weight Watchers. They have helped me lose weight, but they also have their fingers in the food industry. Can I really trust them when they assure me that their Weight Watcher shakes “count” as a milk? Should I even believe them when they tell me that I need 2-3 servings of milk a day? When the diet industry has their fingers in the food industry, suddenly everything is called into question.

Tyra Banks is donning a fat suit for her television show, The Tyra Banks Show. She describes the experience as one of the most heartbreaking days of her life.

• People.com – Tyra Banks Models Fat Suit for Show

She was shocked at the people that pointed and laughed at her. She was surprised by the people who stared at her.

Obesity seems like the last form of open discrimination that’s okay. I had no idea it was that blatant.

I wonder what Tyra’s life is like. What is it like to be shockingly beautiful? What is it like to never have experienced the taunts of people laughing at her “fat ass”? If one day in a fat suit is one of the most heart-breaking days of her life, I wonder what it’s like to be a supermodel. What does it feel like to go an entire lifetime without having someone call me a “fat broad”?

Whenever I feel like I don’t want to exercise, maybe I can remember the shock that Tyra felt on that day. Maybe I can imagine what it would be like to be gorgeous and unattainable instead of mocked and degraded. The hope of living a life without degradation is enough to get me out of bed and on the treadmill.

Via: Big Fat Blog: Tyra Banks Joins Fat Suit Club

According to an online survey conducted by ARAMARK Corp., a food services company, people want to have more information about the nutritional facts of the food they eat in restaurants and they also want to be able to order half-portions.

• USATODAY.com – Diners want more info and smaller entrees

When Ruby Tuesday provided the nutritional facts for all the food items on their menu, I was shocked at how high in calories and fat everything was. It was difficult for me to find anything on the menu that was within the amount of calories I had left for the dinner. I ended up ordering something and cutting it in half, throwing the rest away. It sure would have been nice to be able to just order half an entree in the first place.

• Nation’s Restaurant News: Ruby Tuesday halts on-menu disclosures: nutrition watchdog group CSPI sees end of 5-month-long effort as ‘step backward’

Now, Ruby Tuesday has stopped putting the nutrition facts on their menus and are putting them on tablecards instead. They say it was cost prohibitive to replace all of their menus whenever a recipe changed, but I suspect it might be the embarrassment of printing the hard, cold facts next to the pictures of yummy treats.

I know I can find something healthy to eat at whatever restaurant I go to, but having the nutrition facts easily accessible makes that so much easier. Being able to order a smaller portion would help me also. The restaurants won’t do it until we demand it. Let’s make our voices heard.

You may not recognize the company name of NBTY, Inc., Puritan’s Pride or Nature’s Bounty, but I’m pretty sure you recognize the name Vitamin World. They have been ordered by the FTC to pay a two million dollar fine for bogus weight loss claims.

• NBTY, Inc. to Pay $2 Million Penalty For Alleged Violations of FTC Order Company Distributes Dietary Supplements in the U.S. and Abroad

You see their stores in strip malls around the country and they have a strong presence on the Internet. They seem legitmate in every way, so it’s understandable that people might have been taken in by their claims.

The FTC alleged that, among other things, the company claimed falsely or without substantiation that its products promoted weight loss, increased muscle mass, decreased body fat, promoted hair growth, prevented premature hair loss, lowered cholesterol, and prevented arthritis. Under the terms of the order settling the matter, NBTY agreed not to make unsubstantiated claims about any dietary supplement and not to misrepresent the results or conclusions of any test, study, research article, or any other scientific opinion or data.

That takes care of them for now, but what happens when another company jumps into the fray, saying that you will lose weight with their product? Don’t wait for the FTC to protect you. These violations were from 1995. It takes the government a decade to knuckle down on offenders. Protect yourself by staying as far away from any product that promises that you can lose weight. All you need is within you.

Via: Consumer Health Digest, October 11 2005

Sometimes it all seems too much. Eating healthy, finding the right exercise program and keeping cravings under control can just seem overwhelming. When I looked at all the weight I had to lose, there were times when I felt like I was defeated before I even started.

“Getting Started” used to mean finding a diet, buying the correct food for the diet, preparing a food journal to keep track of the correct food on the diet, finding the correct exercise program, buying whatever items I needed to exercise with, setting up a journal to record the exercise that I did with the correct items, and the list never ended. I usually enjoyed “Getting Started” a lot more than actually following whatever fad diet I had latched my hopes on.

Following the diet meant being perfect. Every fad diet promises great results only if you are willing to follow the regime with exactitude. The second that I fell into old habits, I would feel like I had “Blown It.” “Blown It” has its own rules of behaviors that involved eating whatever I felt I had been denied when I was “Getting Started.”

It took years for me to realize that I didn’t have to do it all perfectly all the time. “Getting Started” doesn’t mean to me what it did before. I no longer need to purchase strange food or expensive exercise equipment. “Getting Started” means putting one foot in front of another every day. I don’t need to be perfect in order to be healthy and lose weight. I don’t need to ever endure another “Blown It” binge episode. All I need to do is get myself out of bed every morning and stay committed to making good choices.