PostSecret: You’re Still An Asshole

By Laura Moncur @ 5:00 am — Filed under:

This postcard from PostSecret says EVERYTHING about someone who says they love you one minute and tells you you’re fat the next:

PostSecret: You're Still An Asshole

It reads:

My whole life, you told me I was fat. I had surgery to become thin.

Now I’m skinny. And you’re still an asshole.

This exact same thing happened to me (except the surgery part, I lost the weight on my own). The first time I tried Weight Watchers, I lost almost 75 pounds. I wasn’t to goal yet, but I looked world’s better than before.

I’ve made no secret that my grandparents starved me every summer in Billings. On one particularly dark night, I was feeling down. I felt like my grandpa never was proud of me. Mike told me that it wasn’t true and told me to call him and talk to him.

In tears, I called him and asked, “Are you proud of me? Are you proud of anything I’ve done?”

He answered, “Well, you really need to get your weight under control.”

No mention of the college degree. No mention of the prestigious job. No mention of the recent weight loss.

He died last year and right up to the end he was that kind of person. My mistake was ever trying to please him in the first place. Don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Whenever I tried to get any positive reinforcement from him, however, I always came away feeling worse than before.

In the end, I need to eat healthy and exercise for ME. Not for anyone else.

PostSecret‘s beneficiary is the National Hopeline Network. It is a 24-hour hotline (1 (800) SUICIDE) for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it.


5 Responses to “PostSecret: You’re Still An Asshole”

  1. Elisa Says:

    Wow. What a mean person! 🙁

    I had a morbidly obese grandmother and a very thin aunt and mother who were constantly on my case about my weight all through my teen years. It did nothing but make me hyper critical and obsessed for many years.

    I weigh a good 40 lbs more than I did when they thought I was fat and yet, I don’t feel half as ugly as they made me feel back then.

    Congrats to you on losing all your weight! I read your blog daily to stay inspired!

  2. BryanB/OrtingRunner Says:

    I have also lost lots of weight. Although I hated how I looked, I hated how I felt worse. If I seek out others acceptance for who I am, I must be secure enough to handle the rejection of my expectation. I believe that weigh loss is an internal job not just involving calorie reduction and exercise. The process of removing my own mental safe guards has been more challenging than loosing 160 pounds. I still find myself seeking acceptance from others because I am like a normal person on the outside, but still (occasionally) a mental fatty. When I was heavy, I saw the looks, the shake of the heads, the quick eye snap away when I catch them staring at me. Today, I feel like I am “a part of” or “in the crowd” of normies that used to be ashamed of me. I am treated different today because I look different. Shallow people will always be that way. The best I can do today, is kind and understanding to these sick people and help my fellow heavies. They are human and are hurting. What better service can we provide than the lending of time and support to our former selves. A sympathetic ear will reinforce my efforts every day.

  3. B. Says:

    Wow, Laura, that makes me so sad to hear how your Grandpa treated you.

    Your words about not trying to get acceptance from certain people are inspiring.

  4. Blake Says:

    right on. do it for yourself. be healthy because you want to be. congrats on losing weight and getting healthier!

  5. Shelly Says:

    I had the same experience. Except it must be how my whole family thinks because its not just one person. So, when I see them they always comment on me being heavy. It finally got to me and I lost a lot of weight and when I saw them all at Christmas…Noone said anything…Nothing at all! But now that Ive gained it all back plus some they have plenty to say. I just dont listen to them. But it still bothers me. And its not even about them…I want to lose weight because I hate the way I look…without them saying anything at all. It would just be nice to have some support instead of the people that are supposed to love you put you down all the time.

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