Comments on: I No Can Haz Peetsa

By: Edene

Edene — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 17:43:56 +0000

Yes, I can relate. I feel the same way sometimes. I like to eat healthy and restrict myself to primarily fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I'm happy with what I eat (at least that's what I'd like to believe), but I can't help but feel that I have to push my habits onto others - like friends and family - and I criticize their eating (either passively or aggressively) when they don't share my views on food. And it makes me feel like crap.

I think the problem is that I feel deprived when people can enjoy what I am not allowed to have. I feel that if I'm putting forth all this effort to be healthy, they should too. If I force myself to suffer, it's only fair that they have to go through with it too.

So in one way or another, I'm really not that okay with what I'm eating.

By: Renee

Renee — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 17:00:26 +0000

I liked Elaine’s reply and agree TOTALLY. Also, from my own personal experience I can tell you there have been times when I actually forced myself to eat 1 piece of chocolate here at work or a “slither” of cake (don’t laugh) for a birthday being celebrated just so I didn’t end up where I was before I lost 38 lbs in the past 6 months. That might sound REALLY STRANGE but in the past I was so strict on myself that I started making unhealthy compromises with myself that started me lying to myself about whether or not I was really working towards a healthy lifestyle and weight (making appointments to have sweets only on the weekend, etc.) I force myself “sometimes” because I have the fear that I’m on a temporary “high” from the weigtloss and will unconscientiously regain my “habits”. Food perse’ is not my weakness. The SWEETS (cholate, etc.) ARE! Let me rephrase that – in the past they have been. I just want to get to the point where I am with drinking water. I used to be an avid Pepsi & Coke drinker over 6 years ago. My doctor told me I’d reduce the sinus problems (nose running all the time) if I drank more water. I started substituting lemonade for the missing soda. Before long (maybe a year?) I started just drinking water. Now I can count on one hand the number of soda’s or other beverages I’ve had this year. My point? If I want something besides water I drink it but it doesn’t control me or me feel I have to have it. I can take it or leave it (the desire for anything else is low). That’s where I want to be when it comes to food or sweets I consume. I want a change of desires.

By: Elaine

Elaine — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:35:54 +0000

I think it’s a change in perspective, from seeking “perfect” to seeking “good enough,” and additionally to being forgiving of yourself and the rest of the world.

When I started changing my diet last year*, C didn’t go along with me. In the past, that contributed to my failures in dieting, but this time around, I just kept reminding myself that we are 2 separate people, and that this was all about me. (Plus doing all the math I realized that he’s supposed to be eating more than me in any case; my obsession with fairness is part of what got me into this, because I was eating to keep up!)

I guess it went with the “no forbidden foods” thing, too, because I tried not to demonize any particular foods, and so nothing had that pull of the forbidden. I eat McDonalds, I go out for Mexican with the girls at work, I have a Twix after lunch…as long as I don’t eat too much! And in being gentle with myself, I’ve had the freedom to learn what makes me feel better or worse. (Yesterday I knew by mid-afternoon that I hadn’t had enough protein, so I grabbed some nuts as soon as I got home.)

I would LIKE to eat more vegetables, and I would LIKE to eat less junk, and I would LIKE to have a more vegetarian, locavore, organic, etc diet. But I REFUSE to beat myself up when I don’t do it.

I’d recommend a position of mindfulness about those thoughts around food, to notice when you’re having judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. And then remind yourself of how you want to think, the attitude you’re striving for.

A light hand, all the time, is better than coming down hard on yourself until you rebel.

Sorry for the extra-long comment, it’s just something I’ve thought about a lot.

I started in April 2007, reached my original goal in December, then continued to lose until I hit a stable weight about 3 months ago: lost almost 60 pounds altogether.