Comments on: Question of the Week: What is your first fat memory?

By: Sue

Sue — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:21:25 +0000

I guess the first time I really realized I was fat was when I was at the grocery store. I was at the frozen food section, and thise little girl, about 4 years old or so, pointed to me and said loudly, as little girls do, to her mom… ‘Mama! Look at the fat lady!!!!’ Her mother hushed her and silently slunk away from the area with her daughter.. But there I stood realizing that I was the ‘fat woman’ that you see in the grocery store.. The one that all the skinny young girls laugh at behind your back.. The one who NEVER gets a date, even tho you have a ‘pretty face’. I have lost a few pounds since that humiliating afternoon.. about 20 pounds I guess. Not enough really for anyone to notice. But I know its gone. Its not helped my self-esteem any tho.. I see myself as that hideous fat woman in the store.. someone to be mocked at and made fun of. For me, the pain will always be there. I used to be a beautiful woman in my early 20s. But since I gave birth to three beautiful daughters, my body looks huge. I can relate to the woman who stated someone asked her when her baby was due.. I get that question all the time and the pain is enormous. I just answer, ‘Im not pregnant, just fat.’ Usually shuts them up. I would kill to be a size 12 again.

By: Frano

Frano — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 19:21:10 +0000

After I gave birth to my son at age 37 needed to buy a size 18 did not even Know that size existed. My soon is now 28 mths I’m still fat now wearing a size12 and seem to be stuck.

By: Megan, the former gymnast

Megan, the former gymnast — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:45:23 +0000

I knew that I was gaining weight after high school, but I was WAY too skinny, so I figured, well, it doesn’t matter if I gain a little weight. And I kept telling myself that. Until one day, I was with my (now ex) husband & we ran into a friend of his & his girlfriend. The gf asked me when I was due. I told her I wasn’t pregnant. Then she asked “Oh, how old is the baby?” This hurt on so many levels. One that I was fat & this total stranger was rudely telling me that & also, because, at the time, I was trying to get pregnant & was heartbroken that I couldn’t concieve.
Great discussion, Laura!

By: iportion

iportion — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 01:45:43 +0000

Iris
I am so sorry about your marriage and your mother’s verbal abuse. I hope you learn to feel beautiful now. The weigh will be easier to deal with if you are happy with yourself.

By: iportion

iportion — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 01:41:09 +0000

The school nurse came up to me and asked me why I gained weight so fast. I was thin at ten when I entered the school.

By: Iris

Iris — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 13:07:41 +0000

I was actually pretty skinny until I had my son at age 27. But the horrible thing is that my mother used to tell me I was fat as a teenager -- even though I was 120 lbs at 5'8".

Now I'm 213 lbs. At some level, I got deliberately fat during an abusive marriage. I remember eating and thinking, "I'm going to get fat. It will serve him right." It was an act of self-hate as well as anger. It became a habit, a way of dealing with my feelings.

When I look at old pictures of myself in my 20s, I often cry, because I had such a great figure -- and didn't know it. But now I've been slowly losing weight over the past 6 months -- a total of 16 lbs kept off, despite depression and lots of crisis. It's time to reverse what was done to me and what I did to myself.